And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
