best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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