Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, just got a bummer.

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  What??

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  A blow job from a homeless chick.

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  (502): Dude, just got a bummer. (1-502): What?? (502): A blow job from a homeless chick. http://tfl.nu/uf37
  Replies (27) Good night (912) Bad night (1902)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.

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  (712): I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well. http://tfl.nu/yae3
  Replies (2) Good night (2116) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.

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  (207): I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy. http://tfl.nu/9ve4
  Replies (19) Good night (613) Bad night (3745)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.

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  (401): Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night. http://tfl.nu/eotk
  Replies (8) Good night (597) Bad night (3254)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.

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  (570): Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today. http://tfl.nu/c736
  Replies (5) Good night (1014) Bad night (3226)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  It'd be like medium rare by now.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.

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  (419): It'd be like medium rare by now. (1-419): I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat. http://tfl.nu/d8mh
  Replies (9) Good night (1721) Bad night (3581)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

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  (229): Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes http://tfl.nu/ukqo
  Replies (3) Good night (732) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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  (715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7
  Replies (13) Good night (2713) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?

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  (530): I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster? http://tfl.nu/nheu
  Replies (34) Good night (624) Bad night (4090)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?

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  (508): Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed? http://tfl.nu/6lho
  Replies (10) Good night (2097) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.

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  (248): He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup. http://tfl.nu/dnmt
  Replies (12) Good night (3267) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.

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  (215): i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none. http://tfl.nu/avo6
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.

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  (609): Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum. http://tfl.nu/2wyb
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.

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  (912): We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day. http://tfl.nu/r8kt
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...

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  (717): Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls... http://tfl.nu/qcx4
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (280)

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