Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass

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(909): Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass http://tfl.nu/8d1b

Replies (19) Good night (772) Bad night (4533)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people

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(541): I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people http://tfl.nu/4uzt

Replies (16) Good night (3471) Bad night (837)
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(563): View more from Iowa

whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.

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(563): whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend. http://tfl.nu/jypi

Replies (72) Good night (5292) Bad night (686)
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(281): View more from Texas

It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.

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(281): It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms. http://tfl.nu/ibyd

Replies (13) Good night (5245) Bad night (869)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.

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(502): I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap. http://tfl.nu/9a2a

Replies (25) Good night (4450) Bad night (1552)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless

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(847): i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless http://tfl.nu/ycxo

Replies (8) Good night (1028) Bad night (3469)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence

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(307): there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence http://tfl.nu/drkc

Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (2004)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.

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(423): There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself. http://tfl.nu/9xij

Replies (15) Good night (3228) Bad night (728)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.

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(267): This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this. http://tfl.nu/d3gm

Replies (6) Good night (2355) Bad night (756)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.

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(770): Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way. http://tfl.nu/age7

Replies (9) Good night (1041) Bad night (1414)
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(469): View more from Texas

I can feel my moral fiber fraying.

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(469): I can feel my moral fiber fraying. http://tfl.nu/8494

Replies (2) Good night (1289) Bad night (538)
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(248): View more from Michigan

BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.

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(248): BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night. http://tfl.nu/rm2n

Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (629)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I was convinced to buy a man thong.

(614): View more from Ohio

But it's Armani so it's okay.

(614): View more from Ohio

God I just out gayed myself.

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(614): I was convinced to buy a man thong. (614): But it's Armani so it's okay. (614): God I just out gayed myself. http://tfl.nu/dlfj

Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (702)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.

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(978): We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement. http://tfl.nu/az5f

Replies (3) Good night (252) Bad night (531)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

Did you win?

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(803): My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game." (1-803): Did you win? http://tfl.nu/8s69

Replies (10) Good night (2165) Bad night (282)

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