my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
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I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
how drunk are you?