Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Ambien. No doubt about it.

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  (310) Ambien. No doubt about it. http://tfl.nu/jq44
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (442)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.

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  (434): There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically. http://tfl.nu/76cj
  Replies (25) Good night (14017) Bad night (869)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.

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  (630): That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it. http://tfl.nu/khhu
  Replies (12) Good night (622) Bad night (3164)
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  (+26): View more from

  Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY

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  (+26): Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY http://tfl.nu/9qwj
  Replies (30) Good night (7268) Bad night (2504)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends

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  (253): girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends http://tfl.nu/xej0
  Replies (99) Good night (2799) Bad night (5734)
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  (631): View more from New York

  she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

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  (631): she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever. http://tfl.nu/9adr
  Replies (21) Good night (970) Bad night (8436)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.

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  (269): I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life. http://tfl.nu/x5qx
  Replies (23) Good night (3324) Bad night (3238)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER

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  (203): THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER http://tfl.nu/gk2q
  Replies (7) Good night (1118) Bad night (3003)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.

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  (+44): I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it. http://tfl.nu/jqgn
  Replies (4) Good night (1575) Bad night (1123)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?

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  (678): When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was? http://tfl.nu/rsyp
  Replies (3) Good night (1806) Bad night (557)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free

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  (520): I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high. (520): Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free http://tfl.nu/tueu
  Replies (2) Good night (1208) Bad night (392)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

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  (720): Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having http://tfl.nu/k4bc
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (475)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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  (410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55
  Replies (5) Good night (455) Bad night (1759)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The student becomes the teacher.

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  (816): It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar. (314): The student becomes the teacher. http://tfl.nu/thu8
  Replies (1) Good night (445) Bad night (383)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive

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  (775): I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive http://tfl.nu/xzuf
  Replies (0) Good night (196) Bad night (448)

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