we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..