Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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