they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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