if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
