Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Pappa wants mamma naked
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
