Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
