is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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