Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
even my farts smell like vagina
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
