Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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