i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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