you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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