saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize