Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
