but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
