And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
