dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
