i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
