I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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