Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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