Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
