I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
