We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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