He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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