Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
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