I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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