new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
