Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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