4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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