a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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