Sry I called you an 8
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
