just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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