I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
