Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
