she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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