what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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