when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize