you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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