but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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