you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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