all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
