Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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