oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
