we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
