direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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