I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
