TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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