I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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