Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
