Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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