I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
