It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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