just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
