I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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