my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
