Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
