All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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